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| One size doesn't fit all |
| 06.09.04 (12:27 pm) [edit] |
So far in my blog, I have recorded only my observation of the situations where an application of personality type can be useful. What I intend to point out is that, doesn’t matter what personality type we are, as long as we are alive, there is always some usefulness in understanding how others interact with ourselves, and how we interact with the surroundings.
I find that there is so much dependency between happiness and personality that we really cannot be on the right track until we figure out that relationship. My theory is that we are the happiest when a particular void in our soul is filled, or a particular chord in our soul is struck.
Many people have also recognized that ‘not every person is looking for the same thing’. There is a story about a depressed princess. No one in her kingdom could make her smile. She was not lacking wealth, nor beauty, nor health. She didn’t need to worry about a thing in life. Everything has been taken care of for her. Everyone worked so hard for her to make her happy. But she was still depressed. One day, a happy prince heard about this and was empathetic about this princess. He decided to share his happiness with her and change her misery. “Once she marries me, she will see how much happiness there is in this world – love, devotion, children, stability and romance … – anything a woman can ever want, I have and I can provide!” So they got married, and raised a family. But they did not live happily ever after. The princess was still depressed, just didn’t show as much. She wasn’t burdened with any house chores, nor did she need to take care of her children – there were enough maids in the house. Unable to make her totally jubilant, the happy prince became doubtful and frustrated. “What possibly can she want more – a powerful and loving husband, beautiful children and financial stability? She must be unique. I have never met anyone so ungrateful.” So he decided to confront her. “Why are you so depressed everyday? Is this not enough for you? Do you need more – more love, more gold, or more servants?” The princess looked at him and calmly replied, “I need none of those. I’ve had those all my life. What I need is to be useful.”
Historically, there are four types of temperament researchers often use to distinguish the personality types. These four types may have different names in different philosophies. In general, their characteristics are quite consistent throughout. These four types of temperaments can coexist in one person, but some temperaments are stronger than the others, and will become the dominant persona. This persona is the strongest when we have not developed the other weaker personality types. As we mature, the weaker types will be developed, and eventually be personified as our behaviour in different social settings. Some scholars call this a ‘developed self’, as opposed to a ‘true self’. What makes us unhappy is what we encounter, or what we do, deviates to a large degree from our lead personality types, or ‘true self’.
So what is my true self? What are these four temperaments? How are they related to my job, my marriage, my friends, my children, and, most importantly, my sense of happiness? The journal continues…
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